I grew up with three older brothers. Although we have great relationships now, there was a time when arguing was our normal conversation. When I was angry, I would let them know, sometimes by yelling, other times by trying to inflict any pain I could being half their age and strength! I have had to learn over the years that being angry and screaming are not always the best solutions for issues that arise. There is an art to dealing with mean people and those that make you mad; however, it isn’t always easy.
I bring this up because a couple of weeks ago, I became very angry after reading a post on the Coast Guard spouse Facebook page. One spouse posted a simple question looking for some help. You would think that fellow spouses would simply answer the question and want to help another Coastie dependant. Well, I was shocked to see a snarky and caddy remark underneath the question. I cannot recall the exact answer, but this person explained that they were tired of hearing the same old questions and they now need a shot of booze to deal with it. Obviously this remark was sarcastic and meant to be funny. However, it was extremely rude.
Why on earth, would someone think that is okay or even funny to respond like that to a spouse in need? It enraged me and it apparently did other people as well. The conversation was sparked and people began sharing their opinions on the matter and the rude spouse. I saw one question suddenly have over 100 responses of how annoyed people were. Some said threatening and awful things in return. It got out of control really fast. I was happy that my contribution was not angry, but supportive and positive of keeping things classy. I truly had learned from my younger days that tact can go a long way. But, that doesn’t mean I wasn’t still pissed off!
We support spouses have a lot to deal with every day. We juggle our lives, sanity and happiness too much to have caddy remarks thrown at us by our Coast Guard family. We should always build each other up and encourage those to reach out when needed. It is important to be kind to one another; after all, we are the ones that know what each other needs.
So, in 2015, I think we should make a pledge to be kinder to one another. I am not saying we will end the wars and peace on Earth will commence (although that would be nice). But, I am encouraging us support spouses to be nice to each other. If for nothing else, but that we understand our situations. Our husbands/wives, work side by side for the same mission, the least we can do is make the home front a pleasant place to be.
It isn’t always easy, as we are all human. Some people are just really good at making others mad. But, let’s be an example to one another. No matter how mad people make you, try to be kind; and trust me, I know it’s tough to use that edit button!